Elipses Again

Entering into the last week I felt sad a relieved that I have less responsibility in the classroom. Sad because I know that I know have to work hard in order to get back into the classroom. I'm relieved because I know that this trial period is almost over. I'm almost a professional. There will no longer be this limbo. The ominous "student" attached to my title. I also would like a chance to sub and see different schools and environments. But most of all, I want to move on and get my own classroom. I want to make it into a space that I created. I want to plan a unit that fits into my schedule and that I don't have to cram into two weeks.

At the same time, the last eight weeks or so have been an experience I will never forget. I was put into two schools that I would not have chosen, but they turned out to be locations that I made connections with teachers and students alike. Lately, there have been a lot of discipline issues with the students at my current placement. I’m glad I was able to see some of the diffusion and redirection tactics used by my CT as well as others. Am I going to forget some of the little things I’ve learned because I’m going to be out of practice for an unknown period of time? Will I find a job or become another teacher who has been out of college for twenty years but can’t find a full time teaching job? Though these questions leave some doubt in my mind, I have answered the most important questions of all. Can I teach and do I really want to teach? After these couple months I can enthusiastically say yes to both of those inquiries.

It's strange to look back on my journal's and postings from the beginning of the school year. One of the things that I noticed was my comfort level. It's interesting to see that I have changed so much in a time that went so fast. I know that I still have a ways to go, but I look forward to every step of the way.

Forecast: Gloomy

One of the students from my current school was killed in a car accident early this morning. I don't think I met him, but from what I heard he was a very nice boy who was due to graduate either this term or next term (this term ends in two weeks). Grief has settled over the building and class sizes are smaller than usual. As a teacher, I know I have to do my best to keep a strong facade for the students. It's easy because I didn't know the boy, but grief is contagious. For the students who did know him I can imagine it's hard for them to even be here. We're supposed to start filming our movie later today and I think one of the students was very close to the recently deceased. We need to move on with the lesson, but will the students be receptive? How will they handle making a horror movie? Last week death seemed so far away that it was easy to laugh and joke about it. Now, we have all been reminded of how fast everything can end. It would be good to teach the students to let go, but it's so fresh people are still talking about him in the present tense. How do I pull the students forward without rushing them or feeling insensitive? This week will be a trial for me, but more of a trial for the students. Usually my response to other's grief is silence. I'd rather not say anything than say the wrong thing, but I'll need to say something to get my class moving on the unit since I only have 6 days.

Pleasant Surprises

My new school is an environment that is completely different than anything I ever expected form teaching. Some days there are four students in class, and others there are eight. I have yet to have full attendance. Some students are constantly tardy, and it doesn’t seem like there are any consequences. I don’t know what consequences would work if any were put in place. It’s possible that consequences will just drive the students to be truant more often. Most of the students that do come everyday are ideal students. They are attentive, for the most part, and contribute to the class discussions. However, very often there will only be one student who offers information and you have to work to get the others to speak up. We’ve tried the “I want to hear from someone else” technique, but some students just don’t want to talk. I feel like I thrive on student involvement, but I also know that some people are listening even if they don’t respond.  

 The students do respect my cooperating teacher and if they don’t she let’s them know that that kind of behavior is not to be tolerated. I wish I was here at the beginning of the year to see how she created such a report. I think it took them a little while to realize that I am to be treated the same way, because I will treat them just as my CT does. During a group reading, one of the teachers team teaches with us went to the other side of the room. Upon her departure, a boy pulled out his phone and started texting. He must have known that I was behind him because I was doing most of the reading. If he did, he obviously didn’t care. When I said his name, he acted like he wasn’t doing anything wrong so I had to tell him to put his phone away. He did, and this is a trend that I have noticed; the students respond well to redirection.

One thing that I enjoyed last week happened during the district PLC meeting. We were going over the rubric used for written responses and trying to come up with some more specific items we would look for in a “4” paper, and how a “4” differs from a “3” and so on. It was enjoyable because not only did I speak up, I was nervous at first but I became comfortable, but we also made progress. In the various meetings that I have attended (i.e. PLC, child study, staff meetings) it seemed that there was a lot of discussion that went no where. It was nice to see teachers come to a consensus. I heard about a meeting that was held to define consensus and people couldn’t even come to a consensus on the meaning of the word. This PLC was also very equality oriented. My last district PLC had a leader that made sure everyone knew she was the leader (even though she was a co-leader). She wanted everything to be done her way. This PLC has two co-leaders, but if you sat in on a meeting you might not guess who they are. They did lead the meeting, but they also respected the fact that the rest of those people in attendance had opinions that matter.

Elipsis

My last week of teaching went well. There were a few instances that gave me some grey hairs. One was when the students were grading extended constructed responses in small groups based on the districts four point scale. A particular group had a conflict when one boy changed the score he gave a peer from a four to a three due to the "influence" of the third person in the group. I asked why he changed the grade and the answer I got was that they had a discussion and decided that there was some information that was missing. The purpose of the lesson was to discussion reasons why threes were threes but the boy whose paper was in question couldn't take the criticism and out of spite, he said, "Well I'm giving him a three then." I read the answer and agreed that it was a three, but when I tried to explain why the boy wasn't having it.

I also got a chance to work with a sub. However, it was a sub that I had already seen in our school (see my previous post to get an idea of what I was thinking when I saw her), but it felt good to be flying semi-solo. The sub did interject when it was maybe a little unnecessary, but I didn't feel the issue needed to be addressed. I felt bad because I had nothing for her to do after school. All my papers were graded and the grade books were updated. I had everything ready for my next lesson, so she just read Dr. Seuss.

Overall, I think my unit went well.  The kids enjoyed The Outsiders and the discussions we had were better than some that I've been involved in while in college.

This week, I am observing other teachers which can be boring after teaching. I still want to interact and supply information in class, but I have to realize that it's not my class. I feel like I've taken one step back, but having a small break is never something to complain about. One thing I have noticed is that when we did observations for class we had guidelines of what we were to observe. Now I have no guidelines but I pick up on little things that I don't think I would have noticed a year ago. Going into this off week all i can think about is what is my next placement going to be like...

Evolving

Today was my first day teaching all four periods. I think period 2 had a hard time accepting me as the teacher./ My CT and I decided that we should have let me teach once or twice before I tried it full time. We seem to spending all our planning time trying to figure out what to do with three of our boys. Today we had two counsellors and the administrative facilitator come up and brain storm with us.

My patience with one of my periods wore thin today, and they saw a different side of me. However, they were quiet after that. I think my frustration stemmed from period one because they were very non compliant. 
Today was my first early dismissial and I found it difficult to time my lesson.I didn't want to start something that we wouldn't be able to finish, but I didn't want to lesson to be a waste. The discussion in one class went really well and one boy mentioned how fun it was.

Once again we are plauged with a weird schedule due to the beginning of a magazine sale. I was able to sit with some kids in the auditorium and they enjoyed that. All day i have been trying the lower one technique for classroom management and it seems to work pretty well. Fourth period had an intense discussion on gangs and it was good to see some of the quiet ones get involved.

Today I tried out a game that I had invented. Secoind hour was the first ones to recieve the directions so it was a little rockly, but there were winneres in every class so i guess they enjoyed it.

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Monday 8-30:

Today we watched Grammar Rock and it got fairly annoying after a little while. My teacher told me that some of the boys are testing me trying to see how much joking around I'll let them get away with. I need to keep an eye on them but I don't want to lose their respect. 

Tuesday 8-31: 

Two boys in our first period were intentionally ignoring their writing assessment. How can you deal with kids like that? One of our other classes finished with the pre-test with too much time at the end. We didn't plan anything else because the test should have taken them most of the period. My teacher told them that she was worried because they probably didn't get good scores. In the next class, we emphasized the "extended constructed response" direction and the students spent forty minutes on the test. The boys keep joking, we'll see if I can calm them down. 

Wednesday 9-1:

My third period felt really good. It was fast paced and the students were into the lesson. Fourth period was not the same. It's the same boys and not only do they take over the class, but they were also joking a little too much. Afterwords my teacher reminded me of the yellow warning slips. I want their respect in the fact that they like me and will listen to me. We had a lot of meetings today and one about RTI. We were the only complete team there and I'm not sure if we got much accomplished.

Thursday 9-2: 

Today we had browsing day in the IMC and I was able to connect with some of the boys on a personal level. I also brought up the "yellow cards" and said that I'd use them if I had to. I got compliance. We played a game for spelling review and I hope they studied. 

Friday 9-3: 

We took out first spelling test and the sub for the resource teacher stood up in the middle of the test and told the kids a piece of information that was the opposite of what we had told them previously. My teacher explained that in the kindest way possible and the test resumed. I told her after that she handled the situation in the best possible way. Some of the kids with behavioral issues will tear her apart, so we are going to bribe them with treats to see if they can behave for the day. 

They did behave, but didn't do their work. Since they never do their work I consider that a victory. 

PLC and Back to School

Last week I went to the district PLC meeting for middle school LA teachers. In a large group (6th, 7th, and 8th grade) we discussed what PLC meant and not too many people were sure. One person said that she didn't know what it meant until she went to a PLC conference. We also discussed the pre-tests that the district has decided the students need to take. After far too long (almost everyone was complaining), we split up into our grade level PLC groups. There was some drama as a teacher from my school was supposed to be a co-leader of the group but another teacher decided that she was going to take complete control leaving our colleague disgruntled. Drama knows no bounds.
I'm still not sure about PLC but I do know that meeting with some sort of team is essential. It's like the tribes we have for seminars. Large groups are formed by schools, and then there are teams by grade level with different subjects. There are also "PLC" groups that are same grade and same subject. When we met with our school's PLC we discussed the district expectations and how we were going to meet them.
One thing I do understand is the "C" in PLC. Community means interaction outside of school. The Principal had a dinner party at his house for staff and families. There I saw how the teachers relaxed with each other and maybe there is a sense of professionalism that they share. I know that I felt I still needed to be professional.

The first day was a half day and it didn't seem like school had started yet. I could barely sleep the night before and I think I'll be running on little ammounts of sleep a lot for the next....twenty years. I'm trying to do as much as I can becasue I'm done observing. I did 90 hours of observations in a semester. This experience is about teaching and I want to do as much of that as I can. Like right now...

Inspirations and Legacy

Like many teachers I was inspired to follow this career path by an educator that I truly enjoyed. Unfortunately, he passed away my freshman year at Coe so he will never know that I have almost succeeded in following in his footsteps, nor will he know that it was his footsteps I began following in the first place. However, the inspiration he instilled in me is still there coupled now with a motivation to inspire the young students I will be teaching. I want to teach because I want to make a difference in at least one student's life (if it is only one student I hope I make a BIG difference). I want to pass on the knowledge and love that I have for my subject to the students especially because Language Arts is considered, by some, a dying subject.

This is the legacy I want to live behind. I want the students to like me enough that they listen to what I have to say and absorb it. I used to hope that I would be the teacher that everyone will remember, but now I just want them to remember the lessons I teach, whether they are related to my subject or life lessons in general. i want to leave behind a legacy of students that make something of themselves. I want to teach because I am the teacher.